My stuff, your stuff, their stuff

Do you find yourself getting drawn into other people’s drama? Does doing this knock you off of your course, send you into a tailspin? Sometimes this happens to me. We all have our own patterns and habitual ways of behaving, and getting knocked off course by other people’s life issues is a pattern I’m working to unlearn.

In the past I have used being involved in other people’s crises as a way to avoid dealing with my own ‘stuff’. Other times I have allowed the energy and the drama from the people close to me to distract me from my purpose and focus. I have given up opportunities for my growth and development because my family member was going through something and it wasn’t a good time.

Recognizing a pattern of behaviour is the first step to changing it. What else can you do to protect your own energy, not get dragged down by other people’s moods/drama and stay focused on your purpose?

Setting boundaries is one aspect of protecting my energy

Ground yourself

When you find yourself in a tailspin, or when someone else’s drama is occupying too much of your space, make time to ground yourself. You can do this by meditating, going for a walk in nature, deep breathing and/or eating nourishing, grounding foods such as root vegetables.

What brings you joy

Each day, try to spend some time (even 10 minutes!) doing something that brings you joy. It could be playing an instrument, baking bread, working with fibres, singing, dancing – whatever lifts your heart.

Own your own ‘stuff’

If you find yourself getting drawn into another’s drama at the expense of your own well being, ask yourself ‘Is this my old pattern?’ and ‘what am I avoiding dealing with by spending time and energy dealing with someone else’s issues?’ Think about how you can still care, but continue to do what’s right for you, what contributes to your own well being.


When I am struggling, I find it helps to have a mantra to write in my journal or to post in a prominent place. Here is a mantra that you may find helpful:

“I have strong, clear energy. While I can have empathy and compassion for the people around me, I don’t let it affect me unduly, or distract me from my purpose.” Meryl Cook

Writing prompt

Being unaffected by the energy of others feels …

To me this feels freeing, lighter and full of energy from within that is strong and clear.

How can I help?

If you are looking for writing prompts and other resources to release blocks and connect with your creative self, take a look at my two booksReach out to me if you’d like some help designing a wallhanging that is a reflection of what you need right now. Sign up for my Heart Notes newsletter so you can be the first to hear about upcoming workshops.

Do you need help supporting your team? At Meryl Cook Engagement by Design I work with teams to raise engagement, relieve anxiety and get out ahead of transitions. Bringing people together to create something lasting and meaningful, while building new skill sets, is at the centre of my process. Connection, purpose and empowerment are outcomes you can expect for your team. Let’s book a short discovery call to discuss how to best support your team.